Monday, November 30, 2009
hmmm i am beginning to realise e fact tt if guys n gals r good frens, there is a great possibility tt one party like another party. to think tt i am stupid enough to believe until nw tt a pure frenship can exist b/w a guy n a gal. idk?
if u r naive enough to ask me to think again what made me like you in e 1st place. u will b disappointed. looks. gt ur ans nw. :) r u any whr happier nw? give it up nw pls...
luvangel2003 believed today at 2:12 AM
Sunday, November 29, 2009
hmmm we dont celebrate thanksgiving in spore n idk if thanksgiving is already over by now.i just wanna take e chance to thank god for every person tat he has placed around me.a fairly easy year compared to last year.but emotionally,i had been challenged many times.thank god for strength n comfort =)
for my frens...only some of u knows all e stuff i had been thru.sometimes i had pushed u all away.sorry for tat.but just leave me alone when i need to b alone okay =)
hmmm n finally...thank god tat i hav found drew!still my special fren =) keeps me smiling too!
i still thank god for u.for all e mmrs.mmrs tat keep me alive.mmrs tat keeps me breathing.mmrs tat give me a reason to smile.thanks =)
hmmm i am supposed to feel sth.but y am i numb?or it isnt tat in e 1st place?
Gonna sleep.having svc lata.byes
luvangel2003 believed today at 4:45 AM
Friday, November 27, 2009
more confused than ever =,= feels a bit odd w/o e usual noisy boisterous peeps. bt will get used to it :)
hmmm so tis is ur last req huh? okay coming up :)
luvangel2003 believed today at 8:31 PM
Thursday, November 26, 2009
sometimes,i feel like life is unfair.life is just a randomness tat just happened.but some other times,when i get spared while other ppl dont,i began to reconsider again.i dont believe i hav escaped numerous incidences n close accidents by pure luck.i dont believe in randomness.i just believe in a god who is in control.even when things go wrong,god is still in control,moulding our character for e betta.
Soo today...went fen's house.den jer's house.den abby's house.den rushed off to sch for lessons =.= aft class,decided not to go home early.so tagged along wif abby n fren to go fishing.boring actually.its a game of patience,more than luck.but had a happy time cos of caffeine =)
tml mayb heading down to city hall to do dont know wat.haha...life is happy currently,w/o any holes.wat i am scared of is...life is too beautiful now tat a minor ripple will destroy everything.
luvangel2003 believed today at 4:30 AM
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
wondering since when things had gotten so wrong.was it just me or what?n aft seeing ppl around me,i begin to doubt in true love.true love does exist,e one given by god.but true love between ppl...do they really exist?mayb at first,they just gave in to their passion.n carry it on only for a facade.true love...makes me kinda cynical right now.
Gonna meet jer n fen lata...den going down to abby house followed by sch.is ur casual comment really true?am i numbing my feelings by keeping myself busy?idk...mayb i really did
luvangel2003 believed today at 7:46 AM
Saturday, November 21, 2009
argh a lot of things on my mind now. people liking u...is it so much a headache? jay...u r nt a surprise anymore. kuay chap...shocked me tt feelings hav stayed for so long. (treat ur gf betta, yeah?). dee...i dont even wanna tok abt u. aer...feelings. doe...ur hate is oni a facade? guo...stumped me. tob...i nvr knew. hmmms i dont even wanna think abt all these anymore. i am confused. i am frustrated. idk wat else to say.
find myself thinkin more n more abt person a. shocked me acty. scared me too. wat if it really came true? =* dont wanna tink oso.
i am still confused even aft blogging @.@ even more confused than b4~
luvangel2003 believed today at 2:33 AM
Friday, November 20, 2009
hmmms exams coming...it will b christmas n new year.wondering wat significant thing hav i done this year,but cant think of any now. Think about how i had changed since e part year?i can only think of one: crying more this year haha.
Mayb e breakthrough tat i had was in r/ships. Somehow,can feel my heart softening. Easier to forgive. Easier to make peace with people. Havent slapped anyone for the past year haha!!!
Friendship wise,built up meaningful friendships.maintaining friendships.losing friendships. Yeaps...those i tried hard to maintain,those i chose to let go of.losing my companion...hmmm saying tat it doesnt affect me would b too deceiving.it cost me e gang of boys too n you.but it is better to let go now than drag it along further...
Realised e simplicity of love.just happy to c e person u love happy, healthy n well.u would do anythg just for tat person.travelling h/o far e distance just for a precious 5 mins.humans r complicated?nope...theory falsified.
Mayb humans in love r so simple after all.easy to read...as all i can read is e word sacrifice,treasure n so on. Getting hurt cos of love?its worth it.cos aft all,love is wat makes e world goes round :)
luvangel2003 believed today at 5:42 AM
Thursday, November 19, 2009
exams tml! idk y i am still blogging nw haha. hmmm so far...practical has been a difficult. but i tink still will b able to manage a pass or 60%?idk. haha. tml exam will b more difficult i know! cos most of e mcq r which statement is correct? which statement is incorrect? i dont like those type of questions =.+
trying to think a lot about life. wondering if you really mean it when you said i miss you, i love you and all those stuff. wondering if everything has become such a ritual or what? idk. haha...bt i hardly care nwadays.
off to mugging again eeks =,=
luvangel2003 believed today at 11:28 PM
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
i hope i know y i am feeling this way.i dunno...soo confused...soo sad...hmmm mayb its cos of all e thoughts.but mainly its cos of indifference.does it mean so little?i hate this feeling of dependency n insecurity.but i just cant help it.n nothing i can do can make it go away.
Hmmm should i or should i not?i know he doesnt really like me.its just e thrill.so should i?
luvangel2003 believed today at 5:11 AM
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
went to hougang, met fen n jer for dinner. Had a fun time =) even though it was studying time...haha yeaps treasure those happy moments =)=)
hmmm i am beginning to doubt.not doubting in god, just doubting in some decisions tat i hav made. Idk? Mayb cos these few weeks, many things hav happened. Yeaps...and e ones standing by me r not e ones i expected or thought. But i am still grateful for those ppl =)
Random note...happiness explodes inside n it radiates in all directions.dont believe? try thinking of sth sweet.get me now? Yeaps happiness is addictive.
Talking about addiction...plants vs zombies is addictive =.= sad to say.abby seems hooked on e game too.n so does chris =.= stupid stupid boys...haha...yeaps...abby got e game from marv,n cencen,from jehan.haha...
Got practical exam later.wondering y am i not asleep yet haha...mayb i should slp now.heading down to city hall lata.for lunch...
luvangel2003 believed today at 4:26 AM
Sunday, November 15, 2009
hmmm i am wondering y am i scared of ppl knowing my r/ship w j. mayb cos when ppl knew in e strt, they oni hv bad words to say? idk...
jehan went back jz nw. 5.40 flight. miss him loads n loads. sth jz feel v missing!
luvangel2003 believed today at 1:10 AM
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
i dunno y...i feel so confused. i believe that 2 feelings exists. love and hate. there is no other...just a mixture of both. idk. bt today i heard tt emotions is more complex than tt. is tt it?
i dunno wat to say anymore. my mind is in a whirl. i cant blyv...idk. gaah stop blogging.
luvangel2003 believed today at 2:01 AM
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Realised e simplicity of love.just happy to c e person u love happy, healthy n well.u would do anythg just for tat person.travelling h/o far e distance just for a precious 5 mins.humans r complicated?nope...theory falsified.
luvangel2003 believed today at 4:14 AM
hmmms exams coming...it will b christmas n new year.wondering wat significant thing hav i done this year,but cant think of any now. Think about how i had changed since e part year?i can only think of one: crying more this year haha.
Mayb e breakthrough tat i had was in r/ships. Somehow,can feel my heart softening. Easier to forgive. Easier to make peace with people. Havent slapped anyone for the past year haha!!!
Friendship wise,built up meaningful friendships.maintaining friendships.losing friendships. Yeaps...those i tried hard to maintain,those i chose to let go of.losing my companion...hmmm saying tat it doesnt affect me would b too deceiving.it cost me e gang of boys too n you.but it is better to let go now than drag it along further...
Realised e simplicity of love.just happy to c e person u love happy, healthy n well.u would do anythg just for tat person.travelling h/o far e distance just for a precious 5 mins.humans r complicated?nope...theory falsified.
Mayb humans in love r so simple after all.easy to read...as all i can read is e word sacrifice,treasure n so on. Getting hurt cos of love?its worth it.cos aft all,love is wat makes e world goes round :)
luvangel2003 believed today at 4:01 AM
Sunday, November 08, 2009
e day aft my bdae...still receiving the aftermath. received dress frm e cg. n nice card that cheryl made. hahaa luckily she nvr really put weird photos!!! i was really scared that she will really put weird photos =.= haha...
went church n was late laala. cos ytd slept at...4am. woke up at 9. hahaa (normally, 9am i am preparing to leave home already!) then...aft svc went robinsons sale n saw e looonnnnggggg snakey queue. but in e end...jer n ron queued. manhood eh? changi airport-ed for dinner. then went to jo's hse cos planned to meet abby aft she shopped at tamp ikea. in e end...went back home 1st cos i was too tired.
hmmm somehw made that decision to keep u at arms length. j...it will b for e best, believe me.
luvangel2003 believed today at 10:18 PM
hmmm was my bdae ytd. somehw...nt really looking fwd towards that. ate cakes (grow fat!) and pressies. usual bdae stuff. sometimes, i feel tat it is beginning to be a ritual. bdae...u expect a cake and present and bdae wishes. hmmm no wonder dear said tat a bdae is jz like any other day. idk wat leads to the lack of expectancy. maybe cos i dont hv my parents to celeb bdae wif me. mayb cos the whole bdae thing has become such a routine tt i hv to go thru every year. mayb cos i am getting older, meaning more responsibility...which i hate a lot.
but going through this 20th year of my life with a new hope for the future. hoping that my dad's biz will pick up soon. do well for studies. new level of spiritual growth. bro to be more committed in his walk wif god. and i forgot sth most impt! my father's salvation!!! and other secret wishes ;)
yeaps feel that life is almost perfect. r/ship wise...may nt b successful. bt grateful to god that he has been so patient n loving with me. grateful for e facts...even tho my father hving some difficulties...my parents still hv a loving marriage (eeks sometimes still make my hair stand with all their kisses n wanna go 2nd honeymoon stuff!!). yeaps and my parents may nt hv a lot...bt they gave their best for me n my bro. also thank god for my aunt...who has almost been my second mother. loving me, playing the bad guy role in discipline. best stay over is at my aunt's place! thank god also for the world's best bro. recently had not been really talking a lot and sharing a lot of secrets with him. but really grateful for all his care. and lol jehan!!! thanks for your head pat just now arh. makes me feel like the younger sis ==. for the wonderful cg friends...i really cant thank god enough. they had been almost like my second family in spore (well...tat doesnt mean that i cant miss my parents okay!) fen...e best cgl cum friend. who shamelessly seek for care n concern haha! glad to giv u all my LOVES gal!:D (bt i mz consider other ppl who cant wait to shower their love upon u oso waT! so i mz share!) cheryl...irritating at times bt well, cute n pretty fren :D jo, my wonderful buddy!!! (work is tiring jo! but just hang on okay. next month, we mz schedule regular dinners!) jer...for being my 'crush', bt like another gal arh! (hmmms tat indonesian trip hor...wait for my aunt to come back. cencen lazy plan 1st haha!) ronald...e oni one tt can make cheryl behave haha!!! :D yeaps. hexing...naggy at times, bt has a really good heart. sam...for listening? (i hate you sam!!! =.=) abby...for being my sch fren n almost like a close sis! shopping khaki LOL! (dont come late to sch already la...paiseh lerh ask isaac book seats for us!) marv...being the boyfriend :) (and cfm-ing abby's words which seemed ridiculous at 1st!) jan...for being the one who always gets bullied by the grand cencen to bring home her bible and notebk frm cg or svc haha (come back soon boy!!! :)
just realised i typed a lot. tsk...verbose post. sorry peeps :D
hoon for being the faithful fren throughout!!! hmmms ur niceness hor...cant describe here. too open. ah ya bt no matter wat...i still nicer than u la! mx...e gd fren who acc me for e weird lessons like bio n MATHS! freaked out =,- xy...
the boys...thanks too!!!:D
oops lappie batt dying. gotta stop blogging and end this loooonnnngggg post!!!
luvangel2003 believed today at 2:11 AM
Friday, November 06, 2009
j...sorry for making u come to fetch me. thanks for forcing me to eat. sorry for making u scald ur hands cos of e hot milk u attempted to make frm a carton of magnolia. thanks for making a detour to kembangan and not having an mrt to go back. idk why when that person was chasing after me when i walked back...i nvr thought of calling u. i knew that u would come if i did. bt e only person whom i thought of will never come to me. sometimes i do wonder too...if i will regret letting go of u. sometimes i do wonder too...if all my sacrifices are worth it. sometimes i do wonder too...if he knows about it, will he say yes. you are a good guy urself. u dont deserve to b wasting ur youth on a girl like me. someone who have never dreamt of a future with you. i want us to remain as friends...but nothing more please. and if you are going to guilt me into a r/ship with you, i advise you not to: u would lose me forever. i know u wont do that, will you?
and ps i know of ur attempts...he is a good guy. dont worry :)
luvangel2003 believed today at 1:16 AM
Monday, November 02, 2009
HAAATTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE this feeling!!! :C
cencen dont ever wanna hurt another guy again. esp good guys...
luvangel2003 believed today at 1:40 AM
Sunday, November 01, 2009
you are precious to me. i cant bear to lose you, really. constant companionship for 2 odd years? how can you think that i would not be impacted if you are gone? i do treasure you. just the extent of it has changed. its time for us to let go. hmmm you might say that i am heartless, forgetting our memories in such a short span of time. i havent. you know how hard has it been for me to go into the movies, without your shoulders as my headrest? how do you expect me to drink starbucks without remembering your smiles and the green jokes? and everytime i see the red line on mrt, i will without fail reminicise all the long journeys we shared. my life does indeed felt empty at first without you. you had almost been my constant 24/7 companion. whatever things that are on your schedule are less important than me. i know. but we must learn to move on. its not you only, remember? the good memories just keeps resurfacing too. i wish you all the best, really. i dont know if i am ready for a r/ship right now. but i will try. wont you try too, at least? this is my first attempt to forget you. wont you take this step with me?
losing a friend's friend, who is almost a stranger...its already hard enough for me. i do think about his death very often nowadays. i accept his death, yes. but its just hard. i dont know...i admit, losing you will be very painful. maybe it would kill me. so please please dont do anything weird.
wish you all the best. take care...you r still bb to cencen. just the importance has shifted. to a brotherly kind of love. will you remember that, please? :)
and please...if you made up your mind about this, i really dont mind astro boy. just remind me not to let my head fall back on your shoulders....
luvangel2003 believed today at 1:40 AM
